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But yo, some geezers mess it up, yeah? I seen this dodgy parlour once—stank of cheap lotion, lights flickerin’, geezer looked like he ain’t showered since ’99. Made me vex, fam! I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s ’cos they’re rank, bruv. Sexual-massage should be class—candles, tunes, that lush vibe. Not some grimy hustle.

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I might throw in some mistakes – heck, I count at least 18 typos in my head today – but that's life in Cottage-Grove, messy, spontaneous, a bit rusty, and always a riot. So come visit, my friend. Let’s traipse through Maple Spree, share a pint, and let our inner emotions run wild – “Because sometimes, you gotta scream out emotions just like Joy and her gang, even if it’s a bit crazy!” Cheers to that, and remember: a massage here is like a spirited conversation with the city itself, where every muscle and heartbeat speaks a tale only Cottage-Grove can tell.

Driver arrested, faces homicide charge in deadly Cottage Grove crash