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About Chicago

Ya start by cruisin’—maybe hit up the dive bars, the ones with neon buzzin’ like a damn hornet’s nest. Ask around, but don’t be a schmuck—keep it lowkey. “Where’s the action?” ya mutter, feelin’ like Freddie, all twitchy and pissed. One time, I saw this dude—total mess, smelled like cheap gin—yellin’, “I’ll find her myself!” Got me laughin’—buddy, good luck, ya ain’t findin’ squat without a tip-off!

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Oh, and get this – the Demarest Library near Route 304, yeah the one you never expect to be cool. I once massaged a big shot there who whispered, “I’m the Wolf of Wall Street,” right as he was signing a million bucks deal. Crazy, right? Sorta like Scorsese’s flick, but without all the expensive suits and fancy lies.

Carnegie Mellon’s Demarest Metals