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So here’s the deal—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t get rolled. Now? It’s all online, baby—apps, sites, whatever. But don’t be fooled, it’s still a gamble. Saw this X post once, dude said he paid $200 for a “good time” and got a gal who smelled like week-old pierogies. Laughed my ass off, but damn, that’s a risk! Fun fact—did ya know in Amsterdam’s Red Light District, girls tap the glass to signal they’re free? Like a freaky vending machine. Wild, right?

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And oh, the neighborhoods. Larkspur Lane? What a dump, yet somehow endearing – like that one ex who won't stop texting. Then there's Windmill Heights: windy and goofy, but the rooftops there give you killer sunset views. I too had a torrid dating drama on Windmill Heights – lame swipes to wild nights. "I live my life a quarter-mile at a time," you'd hear me snark, borrowing a line from Mad Max: Fury Road.

Minooka Community High School to build new fieldhouse, career center for $82 million