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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, yeah, let’s chat bout findin a prostitute, right? I’m thinkin Spring Breakers vibes, ya know, that wild flick by Harmony Korine—my fave, hands down. Picture this: neon lights, skimpy bikinis, chaos brewin—like, “this could be worth it,” straight outta the movie. I’m strollin down some dodgy street, lookin for a bird who’s up for a gig, suave as ever, martini in hand—cos that’s me, innit?

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I heart the side alley behind the old public library on Cedar St. Its walls? Graffiti magic. I’d even graffiti in my mind sometimes – a little joke here, a bit of truth there. I’m no clean-cut clinical type. Sometimes I chuckle, sometimes I fume – a mix of manic pixie dreams wrapped in Hannibal Lecter’s chilling eloquence.

Matt Bloomfield: Luton Town boss 'relishing' relegation decider