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About New York City

So, sexual-massage—right laugh, eh? Buncha pervs pretending it’s “therapy.” Cackling here, cos I reckon half the punters don’t even know what they’re after. Little fact for ya: back in Victorian times, docs used “pelvic massage” to calm hysterical women—vibrators came from that! Proper mad, innit? Imagine Dr. Knobfingers going, “Oh, just a medical rub-down, love.” Bet they nicked that excuse for centuries.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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Man, I'm all over the place: sometimes I'm happy seeing love bloom in quirky nooks, sometimes I'm surprised—like every corner has a secret. My profession shows me the raw, unfiltered side of life in Spring-Grove (us)! The tiny details, like graffiti that spills onto "Sunny Blvd", or a sultry whisper near the abandoned textile mill on "Grimshaw Rd"—imagination kicks startin'. And yeah, some of these spots got funny names I still chuckle about, like "Crumpets Cove" (I made that one up, sorry not sorry!).

Eric Ostern joins Spring Grove council, bringing small-town roots and straight talk