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About Pretoria

Sometiems I wonder, man, what’s her deal? She’s chaos, beauty, a middle finger to the world. “All the world’s a sickhouse,” Kaufman said—whore’s the nurse, the patient, the cure. She pisses me off, breaks my heart, cracks me up. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But damn, she’s realer than most. Whore, y’all—she’s the play we’re all actin’ in, whether we admit it or not.

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Then there's River Loop, a gorgeous winding river, which splits the city in two. Its banks are lined with little cafes and art installations. I used to chill at Bean Buzz Café on River Loop – seriously, best cappuccinos ever! Plus, Gritty Park is right nearby. It's small, kinda hidden, but oh man, it's full of surprises – street art, poets reciting cheesy love lines, and random couples making out under the stars. Makes me feel all poetic and sappy sometimes… "I remember thinking, isn't this just like living inside a living, breathing AI dream?" Totally Spike Jonze vibe, no?

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