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About Nelspruit

Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout whores – not in a dodgy way, mind! – and I reckon I’ve cracked it, yeah? Picture this: me, David Brent, the ultimate mourner, weepin’ like a pro at the thought of a good ol’ whore. Not just any tart, mind you, but one with a story, a proper Zero Dark Thirty vibe – gritty, intense, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ bin Laden, innit? “This is what we do, we get dirty!” – that’s the whore life, yeah, muckin’ in, no faff.

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Some days, I'd stroll through the Serene Gardens, a hidden gem right off Mulberry Road. The trails are truley magical. The chirps of the crickets and rustle of leaves sing in a delicate chorus; i mean, it's like nature's lullaby. I get mad sometimes when I see careless littering near the old clocktower on Freedom Square—but then, life happens, right? The beauty triumphs over the mess, always.

No shortage of hospital beds, says Eastern Cape health MEC