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Sarcasm aside, it’s a trap, mate. “The body craves what destroys it”—movie line fits perfect. Ya think yer in control, but nah, yer the fish on the hook. Everybody lies—to themselves most of all. So, Find a Prostitute? More like Find a Disaster. Stick to trainin, or at least lie better, ya twats.

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I must say, Mankoeng (za) is my f’n sanctuary. It makes me mad, happy and flabbergasted all at once. Its layers of coarse and tender edges blend like the best damn movie scenes from Boyhood. “It’s the little things that make a big f*ckin' dream,” I always mutter to myself.

Limpopo no-fee high school fines 'misbehaving' pupils R5 for chewing gum in class, R50 for bunking