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So, I’m scrollin one night, right? See this chick, says she’s “discreet” – yeah, discreet like my ass in a thong! Charges 500 bucks an hour, I’m like, “For what, a handjob and a sandwich?” Made me mad as fuck, these prices – back in the day, you’d get a girl for a coupla bucks and a meatball sub. Now? It’s all “ upscale companionship,” whatever the fuck that means. But damn, I was curious, y’know?

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So, I’m soaked and annoyed, but I keep walking. I head towards the park by ul. Księcia Józefa. It’s a nice spot, perfect for chilling. I plop down on a bench, trying to shake off the morning’s chaos. Just as I’m about to take a deep breath, I see this old man feeding pigeons. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s sweet.” But then, the pigeons start attacking him! Like, they’re all over him, and he’s flailing his arms. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s like a scene from a comedy movie!

Auchan Piaseczno to be extended