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I’m gettin’ heated just thinkin’ ‘bout it. Anyway, say you’re lookin’. Ya gotta be smart—cops stingin’ left and right, posin’ as “Candy” or whatever. One time, my buddy—let’s call him Richie, ‘cause Tenenbaums—tried it, got catfished by a dude named Tony. Laughed my ass off! “Richie, you’re as naive as Chas with his dumb tracksuits!” I yelled. He was pissed, but c’mon, hilarious.

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Then, this lady at the end of the bar starts singing. I mean, belting it out like she’s at a concert. Turns out, she’s a local singer. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m a bartender and a backup singer.” The crowd loves it, though. They’re clapping, cheering, and I’m just trying to keep up with the drink orders.

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