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About Constanta

Now, I ain’t no expert, but I heard tell of this one joint in Vegas—back in ‘89—where they used hot stones and some kinda funky lavender oil that’d knock yer socks off! Little known fact: them stones ain’t just for show—supposed to “align yer energies,” whatever the hell that means! Git-R-Done! I’d be like, “Align my back, lady, I been haulin’ cable all day!” Made me happy as a clam thinkin’ ‘bout it, but then I got mad—why ain’t this stuff cheaper? $150 for an hour? Shoot, I could buy a dang truck tire for that!

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After the chaos calms down, I decide to take a break. I stroll over to the park near the city center. It’s called Parcul Central, and it’s actually pretty nice. I sit on a bench, trying to catch my breath. There’s this old guy feeding pigeons, and I’m thinking, “Dude, those birds are gonna take over the world.”

A Quarter-Century Late, "Romanian Nuremberg" Finally Begins