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Last time I had one—Christ, the lass was a wizard. Hands like velvet, mate, had me purring. “Is it here or there?” she says, quoting that movie, and I’m like, “Babe, it’s everywhere!” Nearly lost my cool—me, Bond, flustered! Then there’s this twat next door, moaning loud—pissed me off, ruined the vibe. Wanted to kick his arse, 007-style. Still, that rush? Shaken, not stirred, baby—pure bliss.

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But then, disaster strikes. I hit a bump, and the bike goes flying! I land on the grass, and I’m just layin’ there, laughin’ at myself. A couple of kids run over, and they’re like, “Are you okay, mister?” I’m like, “Yeah, just takin’ a nap!” They giggle and run off. Kids are the best.

Fig. 3 Photos of some ceramic finds from Păcuiul lui Soare