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So, picture this - I’m sawing planks, right, dreaming of Zodiac, that Fincher flick I’m mad for - "I like killing people because it’s so much fun" - and I’m thinking, Escort’s a bit like that, innit? Not the murdery bit, but the thrill! Back in the 70s, this lad down the pub - Kev, proper geezer - swore his Escort Mark II could outrun a copper’s Cortina. Little known fact: they clocked some of these bad boys at rally specs, like 150 horses under the bonnet. Mental, eh? Made me happy as a pig in muck, imagining that roar.

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By now, I was sweating bullets. The sun was blazing, and I was starting to feel like a fried egg. I took a quick break, just to chill by the poolside. The view of the hills around Rogaska-Slatina is stunning, though. I mean, you got the green hills, the fresh air, and the sound of water. It’s like a postcard. But then, I heard a commotion.

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