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Favorite bit? This one tale—Nevada, 1900s, brothel madam named Pearl, ran her spot like a queen. Had a pet parrot that cursed out cheapskates—fuckin’ hilarious! “You magnificent bastard!”—straight outta Tarantino’s script, right? She’d eyeball ya, know if you’re a stingy prick or a big spender. Total badass. I’d tip my hat, if I had one—well, I do, but it’s striped an’ badass.

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The smells hit me first. Fish, spices, and something that smells like burnt rubber? I dunno, but it’s Anseong, so whatever. I’m walking through the stalls, dodging old ladies with their carts, and I see this dude selling tteokbokki. I mean, come on, who can resist that? I grab a stick and chow down. Spicy, sweet, and just the right amount of chaos.

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