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I’m raging—people call it dodgy, shady shite. Bollocks! Ancient Greeks did it—athletes got oiled up, muscles worked proper, little-known fact there, mate. Even Cleopatra, that sly minx, probs had her lads kneading her royal arse. History’s full of it—yet some twats still clutch pearls. Makes me wanna scream, “Get a grip, you soggy biscuit!”

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and Yael’s still on my case. She’s like, “Did you finish the quarterly reports?” I’m like, “Chill, I’m on it!” But then I realize I forgot to save my work. My heart drops. I’m sweating bullets. I’m frantically clicking around, praying I didn’t lose everything. Thank the accounting gods, it’s all there. Phew!

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