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Oh, and the lingo—“release the tension,” they say, but we all know it’s code for “bloke’s chuffed now!” Cracks me up—sneaky sods! Still, I’m all for it—makes me feel like I could roar, “Let us go forward together!” while some bird’s kneadin’ me arse. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? It’s me bloody story! So, next time yer knackered, get a sexual-massage—fight the good fight, lads!

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Then, I head over to the Place Charles de Gaulle. It’s a nice square, but today it’s packed. Tourists everywhere! I mean, can’t a merchandiser breathe? I’m dodging people like I’m in some weird game of Frogger. And then, boom! I bump into this old lady. She’s got a baguette, and I swear it’s like she’s wielding a sword. She gives me this look like I just insulted her entire family. I’m like, “Sorry, madame!”

« Ça a conforté mon sentiment d’impunité » : Joël Le Scouarnec a profité de l’inaction des instances… pourtant alertées