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Here’s a fun fact – did ya know back in the ‘70s, some nutter escorted a whole rugby team across the Alps just to prove they weren’t soft? Half of ‘em nearly croaked, frostbite and all – absolute madness! Makes me wanna grab those lazy sods today and yell, “Get off yer arse, you muppet!” What’s the point of escort if you ain’t pushin’ ‘til you’re seein’ stars, eh? Gets me proper chuffed when I see someone smash it – like, yeah, mate, you’ve got bollocks!

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But then, I see this guy juggling. Like, seriously? Juggling at a festival? I can’t even juggle my life! He drops a ball, and everyone laughs. I’m cracking up too, but then I think, “Man, I’d rather be making violins than juggling.”