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Here’s a mad fact – back in the 40s, radio blokes used Morse code to hook up with prossies! Dot-dot-dash, “Fancy a quickie?” – mental, innit? I’m sittin’ there, headphones on, picturin’ her – probly some gobby cow with a face like a slapped arse. Makes me angry, don’t it? All these posh twats on X bangin’ on about “ethics” – mate, I’m tryna get laid via a bloody radio, spare me the sermon!

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Finally, I get to my first appointment. A wedding dress fitting. The bride is a total sweetheart, but her mom? Ugh, don’t get me started. She’s all like, “This dress is too tight!” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s not the dress, it’s the extra slice of cake!” But I keep my mouth shut. Gotta keep it professional, right?

KATHY ORR Obituary (2013) - Newton, MA