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About Dublin

Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, yo. Been around forever, too—ancient Greeks were slidin’ hands over each other, callin’ it “healing touch” or some fancy crap. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh? Little-known fact: Japan’s got this thing, “nurugel,” slippery as hell, seaweed-based, sounds weird but damn, it’s smooth. Tried it once—felt like a rockstar crashin’ a penthouse party. Made me happy as hell, like when Penny Lane dances barefoot in that movie, all free and wild.

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Around noon, I finally get a breather. I grab a quick bite at the local café on Emmet Street. Best scones in town, no joke! I sit down, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the moment. But of course, that doesn’t last long. My phone buzzes again. It’s a driver stuck at the roundabout near the Birr Castle. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a roundabout! Just go!” But no, he’s panicking. I can’t help but laugh.

Death Notice of Eileen McCarthy (née Doyle) (Birr, Offaly)