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About Katowice

Love the vibe in *Holy Motors*, though—“The beauty of the act!”—that’s what they’d say ‘bout this nonsense. Beauty? More like sweaty desperation. Had a buddy, Earl, swore by these rubdowns, said it “freed his spirit.” Bullshit, Earl, you just liked the view. Little known fact: in Japan, they got this thing, Nuru massage, slippin’ ‘round with seaweed gel—sounds like a damn sushi accident. Hilarious, picturin’ some sap slidin’ off the table, boner and all.

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Then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the new park on ul. 1 Maja?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m kinda busy here!” But she goes on about how it’s got a playground and everything. I’m thinking, great, just what I need—more distractions.

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