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About Zilina

I got mad once, y’all—some fool charged $200 for a “spiritual” rub. Spiritual my big ol’ behind! Felt like I paid for a tickle and a prayer—Halleluyer! But when it’s good? Oh, sugar, I was happy as a pig in mud! This one time, chick used coconut oil—smelled like paradise, had me floatin’. Little known fact: them old-school masseuses? They’d chant while they worked—get them vibes right. Ain’t nobody chantin’ now, just gruntin’—ha!

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After that, we head to the bakery. OMG, the pastries! I grab a koláč, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see a group of kids playing football. They’re kicking the ball around, and I’m thinking, “I could totally join in.” So, I do. Big mistake. I kick the ball, and it goes straight into a fountain. Water everywhere! I’m soaked, and the kids are laughing. I’m laughing too, but inside, I’m like, “Why do I always do this?”

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