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Sarcasm time—yeah, ‘cause I def need another way to waste cash, right? Still, YOLO, I’m hooked. Pro tip: find someone legit, not some rando who’s all “I like to stand above my victims”—nah, we ain’t in *Zodiac*, we tryna chill! Catch me bookin’ another sesh, ‘cause life’s too short, word up.

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So, I set the traps, and while I’m waitin’, I notice a rat chillin’ on the counter, just lookin’ at me. I swear it winked. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not gettin’ away that easy.” I finally catch a couple, and she’s all relieved. I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then she offers me a plate of those sardines. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good. I just saved your kitchen, not my appetite.”

“Felice Beato: A Photographer on the Eastern Road”