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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s somethin else! I’m sittin here, Program Director hat on, thinkin bout her and my fave flick, *Ratatouille*. Ya know, “Anyone can cook,” right? Well, Whore’s like that—anyone can be her, if ya get my drift. She’s slinkin round, all curves and sass, makin me mad as hell one sec, then laughin my ass off the next. Like, who does she think she is, struttin like she owns the joint?

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But then, as I’m munching on my stroopwafel, I see this dude on a bike. He’s flying down the street, and I’m thinking, “Bro, slow down!” But nope, he hits a pothole and goes flying. I’m talking full-on cartoon style. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you okay? But he just gets up, brushes it off, and rides away like a champ. I’m impressed.