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So this chick, she’s workin my shoulders, and I’m thinkin, “This is some *Grand Budapest* magic—‘The society of the crossed keys,’ but for my knots!” She’s whisperin bout energy flow, and I’m like, “Girl, you get a car for that!” Felt so good I almost cried—happy tears, y’all! But then—ugh—she hit a sore spot, and I yelped like a dog in a storm. “Keep it gentle, hun!” I snapped, but she just smirked, all calm, like, “Pain’s part of it.” Bitch, what?! Made me laugh tho—sassy lil thing.

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Then, this kid—let’s call him Miguel—runs up to me. He’s like, “Miss, where’s the Harry Potter section?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s right over there.” But he’s already zooming off, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Kids these days, I swear.

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