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Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—that’s what I’d charge to fix this mess. Apps rig it—keep ya single, keep ya swipin’. Sneaky bastards. Ever notice the hot ones vanish fast? Bots, bro, half the time. I read somewhere—30% of profiles? Fake. Shady as hell. Still, I’m stoked when it works—met my last fling at 2 a.m., total rando. She quoted *A.I.*—“What is love?” I’m like, “Fuck if I know, let’s bone!” Laughed my ass off—best night ever.

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After that, I hit up the local food truck on Calle Pedro Albizu Campos. Best empanadas ever! I’m chowing down, feeling like a king. Then, I see my buddy Carlos. He’s like, “Yo, you look like you wrestled a hurricane!” I laugh, and we start talking about the old Aguadilla lighthouse. It’s such a cool spot, but man, it needs some love.

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