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Then there’s this bit—fuckin’ shocked me, right? She’s savin’ up for a parrot. A PARROT! Says, “Gonna teach it to say ‘fuck off’ to punters.” I’m creasin’, bruv—imagine that! “Fuck off, squawk!” Happiest I been all night, hearin’ that. She’s got dreams, even in the muck.

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The market’s buzzing. I swear, it’s like a scene from a movie. Fresh produce everywhere, people chattin’, and the smell of food wafting through the air. I grab a taco, and man, it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a fish. Like, dude, it’s not a car! Just pay the price!

Edwin Roald designs new nine for Selfoss Golf Course