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I spot this bird – legs like a highway, skirt shorter than my temper. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she goes, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah, darlin’!” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I belong here anymore” – ‘cept this gal belongs, she owns the night! I’m half-pissed, laughin’, thinkin’ – mate, this is cheaper than therapy! Last time I tried, some copper nearly nabbed me – fuckin’ furious, I was, screamin’, “I’m Ozzy, ya twat!” – but this time? Smooth as a bat’s arse.

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A concerned mother checks her daughter's room and finds it in disarray. She decides to clean and declutter, while addressing inappropriate clothing.

Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and boom! My day’s looking up. But then, I step outside, and it’s like the universe is playing a prank on me. I’m walking down Avenue de la République, and suddenly, it starts pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. Like, why even bother with an umbrella, right?

First images revealed showing new look for Droylsden town centre