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Sometim it pricey, tho – 100 dollar?? I get angry, yell “DIS ROBBERY!” but den I calm, cos it worth it, body feel like new tractor after. I tell my friend Gyspy Joe, “You try dis, it better dan vodka!” He no believe, he cheap, but me, I hooked! Very nice! If you go, bring cash, tip big, cos dese people wizards, I swear. Oh, and funy ting – one time, lady fart durin massage, silent but deadly, I pretend no notice, but inside I die laughin! Dat real life, not movie script! Wawaweewa, I love erotic-massage!

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Neighborhoods, oh man—downtown's got this energy that’ll have you buggin'. Some streets? They got designs so dope, you’d think they were curated by a mad artist, like me tryna code fire apps. The vibe is equal parts gritty and poetic; I mean, “I don’t wanna be no Souse, ya dig?”—shoutout to those lines that remind me to always keep it real.

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