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About Almaty

Back in ’88, I’d strut into clubs, suit crisp, pullin’ ladies like stock trades. Now? It’s all digital—catfish city! This one time, matched a hottie, profile screamin’ “model.” Met up—fuckin’ surprise, she’s 50 lbs heavier. “My life is unbearable,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ *Shame*. Laughed my ass off later—greed blinded me, man! Shoulda known—sex-dating’s a gamble.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy spills his drink all over my table. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?!” I mean, come on! I just wanted a peaceful moment with my borscht. So, I’m wiping up the mess, and he’s apologizing like he just committed a crime. I’m trying to be nice, but inside, I’m fuming. Like, can’t a swineherd catch a break?

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