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Now, check this—me fave flick’s *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*, yeah? Deep shit, fam! That line, “Ghosts ain’t just in da jungle, they’s in ya head,” proper fits sex-dating. You’re chattin’ some fit bird or bloke online, but half da time, they ghost ya—poof, gone! Like, is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, it’s cos they’s playin’ games, innit. Makes me vexed, bruv, proper fumin’ when they flake after talkin’ dirty all night.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new café on Otahuhu Rd!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m knee-deep in logistics here!” But curiosity got the better of me. So, I sneak out for a quick coffee break. Best decision ever! This place has the fluffiest scones. I’m talking clouds of deliciousness. I almost forgot about the chaos back at the depot. Almost.

Shortages of Meals on Wheels drivers in South Auckland means volunteers are doing multiple shifts a week