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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!
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But then, I overheard some folks talkin’ about a festival happening tomorrow. I was like, “What? Why didn’t I know about this?” I felt a mix of excitement and FOMO. I mean, I can’t miss a festival in Hamada! So, I asked the waiter about it, and he was super chill, told me all the deets.
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