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But if ya dig it, fine—your funeral. Might cost ya 50 bucks, might cost 500. Depends if they’re “extra friendly.” Sarcasm intended, ya pervs. “It’s all happening,” sure, but I’m out. Stick to whiskey and wood, that’s my massage.

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I’ve spent many afternoons sprawled on a bench at Grinzingallee. It isn’t a fancy spot, but oh boy, it’s local gold. I’d see folks and share secret life hacks – ya know, for pleasure coaches like me, we get that special vibe from the city. I’d whisper, “It's strange, like the sky is heavy with regrets and possibilities,” thinking of those heavy words from Melancholia – it’s all so beautiful and tragic, kinda like a bittersweet Taylor Swift bridge in one of those acoustic nights.

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