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About New Taipei City

Last week, right, I’m pondering this, half-pissed on a pint, and I reckon—why ain’t this in the NHS? Imagine the queue! “Oi, doc, me back’s knackered, chuck in some erotic-massage!” Nurses’d be fuming, but patients? Grinning like loons. Gets me all tingly just thinking it. Oh, and the smells—lavender, mate, or maybe something spicy—hits ya like a whiff of Llewyn’s folk tunes, all mellow then *wham*, seductive as hell.

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So, I’m on my way to the Banqiao Station, right? Gotta catch the train to meet my buddy. But then, BAM! I see this street vendor selling bubble tea. I can’t resist. I mean, who can? I order a large one, extra pearls, of course. I’m sipping it, feeling like a king, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy canceling on me. Classic. I’m like, “Great, now I’m just a bubble tea king with no one to share it with.”

New Taipeis 2019 Christmasland festival lights up tomorrow