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So I tried it once, yeah, proper research for ya! Walked in, this bird’s all “lie down, love”, and I’m thinking – what’s the catch? Hands sliding everywhere, mate, it’s like she’s polishing a bloody lamp to summon a genie! Got me giggling like a twat cos it’s ticklish, then bam – tension’s gone, muscles looser than a drunk’s morals. But here’s the kicker – it’s not even about the naughty bits half the time! Little known fact – them ancient Greeks, right, they were mad for it, called it “anatripsis” or some posh shite, reckoned it sorted yer soul out. Soul my arse – I was just tryna not fart mid-rub!

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Then, around 9 PM, the crowd starts rollin’ in. It’s packed! I’m talkin’ like ul. Wrzesińska on a Saturday night. People everywhere, laughin’, drinkin’, and just livin’ it up. But then, I spot this guy. He’s got that look, ya know? The “I’m about to cause trouble” look. I’m like, “Not on my watch, buddy.”

This Day in Jewish History A Nobel-winning Physicist Is Born