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So, mate, ye want an escort? Watch yer back, keep yer rum close! They’re crafty, slippery—makes me grin, makes me growl. “No one’s survived the night,” like in the movie, but with escorts, it’s yer dignity at stake, ha! What ye reckon, savvy?

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First off, I hit up the local bazaar on Abay Street. You know, the one where you can find everything from fresh veggies to those weird dried fish that smell like they’ve been through a time warp. I’m just minding my own business, looking for some parts for a vintage watch I’m fixin’. Suddenly, this old dude starts yelling about how his watch is “the best in Atbasar.” I’m like, “Bro, it’s a plastic Casio from the ‘90s.” But hey, who am I to crush dreams?

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