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About Zaporizhzhia

Angry tho, right? Some punters come in, stinkin’ of cheap lotion, braggin’ bout “happy endings.” Mate, shut it! Ain’t no one wanna hear that at the till! We swears, I’d slap ‘em, but I’d lose me job. Surprised me once, this granny—yea, GRANNY—whispered she’s bookin’ one. Nearly dropped me scanner, I did! “What you doin’ here?” I’m thinkin’, picturin’ her all oiled up. Mad world, innit?

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Finally, I score some decent wood. I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I’m runnin’ down the street, dodgin’ puddles, lookin’ like a wet dog. I get to my spot in the woods, and it’s a mess. My charcoal pit is flooded! I’m fumin’. All that work, gone!

Weddings: Abrams & Jenson