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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—yep, *that* Loki, smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, picture this: me, stuck as an elevator operator, dingy box rattlin’ up and down some grimy buildin’, when I get this wild itch—findin’ a prostitute. Not just any, mind ya, but one with a vibe, a story, somethin’ twisted like my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. That movie, man—creepy kids, blood, and secrets—it’s my jam. “Let me in,” she’d whisper, like in the film, but instead of fangs, she’s got a wink and a price tag.

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After my break, I head back to the lift. This time, it’s a group of teenagers. They’re blasting music from their phones, and I’m like, “Really? In my elevator?” But I can’t help but smile. They’re all hyped up about some concert at the local club. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I’m too old for this.” But I let them ride, because hey, it’s all about the vibes, right?

Four people injured in Russian strikes on Dnipropetrovsk Oblast