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What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down Jumunjin Beach, trying to find cover. I slip on some wet sand and almost faceplant. I’m laughing and cursing at the same time. Like, why is this happening?

Fig. 4. Variation of shear wave velocity according to vertical...