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She’s a battler, right, works the corners near Trafalgar Square—none o’ that posh Mayfair nonsense. Got a name, let’s call her Rosie, tho she don’t tell no one. Face like a weary lioness, eyes sharp as bayonets! “Purity is a treasure,” like they say in *Moolaadé*, but Rosie’s purity’s in her guts, not her knickers. Been at it since she were 16—bloody hell, 16!—cos her ol’ man pissed off and mum drank the rent. Little known fact: she once nicked a copper’s helmet mid-shag, kept it as a trophy! Swear down, saw it meself, sittin on her shelf like a crown.

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Finally, I make it back to the workshop. I’m exhausted, but there’s still work to do. I’m fixing up some parts for a local fisherman. He’s a character, always telling wild stories about the ones that got away. “You should’ve seen the size of that snapper!” he says, and I’m just thinking, “Yeah, right.”

Laois County Council will take in charge eight housing estates in Portlaoise, Portarlington and Mountmellick