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Anyhow, I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is livin’!”—like in “Yi Yi,” when NJ says, “I see the world through your eyes.” That’s it, sugar! Them fingers see my knots and melt ‘em away. Ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a dance, all sensual-like. I giggled so hard once, oil splattered—looked like I’d wrestled a hog! And the masseuse? Built like a brick house—talk about eye candy! Got me blushin’ worse’n a schoolgirl.

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So, I ducked into a bar on Calle San Sebastián. The bartender was super chill, but the drinks? Ugh, they were weak! I ordered a piña colada, and it tasted like a sad smoothie. I was like, “Dude, where’s the rum?” He just laughed. I was not amused.

Graduation rates are increasing for most San Juan County schools since COVID pandemic