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So, I try this massage, right? In shady place, guy say, “You want happy end?” I say, “Yes, wery nice!” But then – surprise! – he mean extra cash, not what I think, make me angry! I yell, “Why you trick Borat?!” But then, lady come, she so gentle, hands soft like silk, “The past is something he can see,” like movie line, and I calm down. She tell me secret – old Kazakh trick, they use warm oil from sheep fat! Wery stinky, but work good, loosen all my knots, I happy again!

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First off, I woke up late. Like, really late. My alarm? Totally ignored it. I jumped outta bed, threw on my work boots, and bolted out the door. I live near de Hoef, so I had to sprint down the street. You know, the one with all those cute little houses? Yeah, that one.

Terry Lee Williams