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Favorite bit? When they graze the thighs—shiversss! Surprised me first time, nearly leapt off table. Thought, “Gollum don’t deserve this nice!” But nah, it’s for us all, sneaky pleasure. Pro tip: dim lights, soft tunes—sets the mood. “T’es pas gentil!”—I’d hiss at harsh bulbs. Amélie’d get it—simple joys, twisted into sexy.

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But then, the mood shifts. A group of guys comes in, loud and rowdy. They’re celebrating something, but honestly, it sounds more like a herd of elephants. They start ordering shots, and I’m pouring like a madman. One of ‘em spills a drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a slip-n-slide!” But they just laugh it off. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling.

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