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Chat her up, I did. She’s all, “Wotchu want, creep?” Hah! Fair, fair—gotta be quick, cash upfront. Gave her a tenner, she laughed in me face! “That all?” she says. Cheeky! Reminds me of that film line—*“I’m not like the others!”*—‘cept she was, but better. Told me some wild tale—said she once tricked a bloke into buyin’ her chips, then scarpered! Clever lass, that. Made me cackle, oh yes, precious!

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No, wait – let me add a fun fact: down by the little water channel near the old mill is where I once counseled a dear lady who said she could “feel the raw pulse of Ausgleich in the water.” Totally bizarre, right? I was like, "What, are you in a Dogville scene?" but hey, you live and learn.

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