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Oi, listen, her nails – fuckin’ talons, mate! Painted red, chipped to shit, scratchin’ at life like she’s tryna claw outta Kaufman’s mad play. “The end is built into the beginnin’!” – that’s her, born to flop, staggerin’ through the script. I’d tell her, “Pack it in, you daft bint!” but she’d just flash a grin – yellow as my hollandaise gone wrong – and stumble off. Proper character, though, gotta give her that. Idiot sandwich, sure, but she’s playin’ her part, ain’t she? Fuckin’ hell, what a world!

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Sometimes I'm like, "damn, this place IS my dream!" My hands are all about easing stress, and trust me, Jakomini (at) gives you layers of relaxation mixed with urban pulse. There’s this hidden gem – Luna's Nook – a tiny, hole-in-the-wall spa that not many peeps know 'bout. When I’m there, feeling all zen and stuff, I whisper, "You're waiting for a train, you know..." ('cuz dreams and reality kinda merge, ya feel me?')

Ready. Steady. Go! by Sandra Janser and Elisabeth Koller