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Oh, and get this—there’s this old story, swear it’s true, ‘bout a prostitute who saved a town from bandits by seducin’ the leader. Total badass! I’m thinkin’, “She’s the real assassin here!” Makes me wonder—what’s her story, y’know? I’m bouncin’, “Tell me more!” but she’s all, “Nah, sponge, keep jumpin’.”

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I gotta admit, sometimes I get all riled up when someone messes with the city’s vibe. Like, “WTF, why’d you ruin it?” I swear, it gets me madder than a wet hen! But then I remember I'm here to soak up all them moments and share that sparkle with ya.