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About Vienna

So yeah, findin’ a prossie—bit of a faff, bit of a giggle. “Keep the change, my friend!” I shout, quotin’ the film, tossin’ her a tenner. She’s off, I’m knackered, thinkin’, “Christ, I’m a prat—but a happy one!” You wanna judge? Piss off—go watch *Grand Budapest* and cry over pastries, ya nonce!

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Seriously, though, living here means you get used to the vibe. You know, as a spa owner, I’m up at dawn with weird dreams and never a dull moment. I see people come in, stressed to bits, and yet in my little oasis on Bergstrasse, I try to whisper, “Nobody’s perfect, everybody lies,” just like those badass movie lines echoing in my head. And I think, "Man, this city hides secrets like an onion hides layers."