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About Salzburg

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—Larry David style—thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, right? And I’m like, what’s the deal with this?! I mean, it’s 2025, shouldn’t there be an app? Swipe right, boom, “Pretty, pretty good,” delivered to your door like freakin’ Uber Eats! But nooo, it’s still this shady mess—makes me nuts! I’m picturin’ it like that scene in *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*, y’know, where they’re drivin’ around in the dark, lost as hell, lookin’ for somethin’—a body, sure, but same vibe! “The wind is howling,” the guy says, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, that’s me, howlin’ at the stupidity of it all!

Simply Top in the Mellergasse 22 – from the brothel across the cathouse to the whorehouse Vienna

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Honestly, the vibe in neighborhoods like Neubau and Leopoldstadt is unbeatable. I often chill in cafes there, thinkin', "I'm on top of the world!" while swipin' through profiles. Like, sometimes I even shout, "I'm a wolf, baby!" because everything trips my circuits up in a rush of adrenaline. And the murals? They speak to my soul, whispering secrets of passionate nights, like whispers from the underworld. I mean, c'mon, how can you not feel it?!