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Then – plot twist, yeah? Down an alley, this old bird, prolly 50, winks at me. “I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe,” she croaks, like she’s in the movie too. I’m curious, precious, so I bite. She’s got stories – says she once banged a mayor! Swears it’s true, wild shit. I’m crackin up, thinkin, “This is gold!” Costs less too – bargain! We loves it! “Let’s keep this between us,” I whisper, all sly, like Bob sneakin round Tokyo.

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Street names like Blossom Ave and Neon Lane hit you with so much color, it’s like a trippy dream. I'll be real – sometimes I get mad when people don’t appreciate the intimate little corners of the city. Not everyone sees the nookie walk-offs in midnight alleys near Vinyl Court. Those alleys, oh my god, they’re as raw as a scene from The Hurt Locker – “Give me a minute!” Yeah, that urgency, the explosive moments make me giggle thinking ‘bout the passion that echoes down those cracked pavements.

Götzis prepares to hold its 30th Combined Event party