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But – ooh – happy bit! Sex-dating’s got perks, yesss. Quick hookups, no muckin’ about. Fact: 1 in 5 shags from apps now, true that! Beats courtin’ like some daft salmon swimmin’ upstream. Me, I’d dive in, raspy giggle, swipe swipe, “My precious!” – findin’ a gem in the muck. Once knew a lad, proper shy, scored a date off Bumble, now they’re shacked up! Surprised me, it did – thought he’d flounder forever!

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I work as a masseur here, so I'm all up in people's business (in a chill way, of course!). You know? I get to see how each neighborhood has its own special rhythm. For instance, downtown’s vibe, especially around Crescent Avenue and the old brick buildings, is so full of life – like the heartbeat of the city. Meanwhile, the Eastside, near Riverflow Lane, is more edgy, gritty, with a killer art scene.

Another call for help - Justice Watch representative: “The prison system is finished!”