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About Innsbruck

Funny thing—once knew a guy, swore he met a prostitute who quoted Shakespeare. “To be or not to be,” she said, then charged him double. Laughed my ass off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d believe it—people are weird. I hate weird. Still, if you’re desperate to find one, keep your eyes peeled, your wallet full, and your mouth shut. “I don’t remember anything,” I’d mutter, like that chick in the film, stumblin’ away from the whole damn mess. That’s my advice—take it or leave it. Probably leave it. I hate everything.

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Oh! And the parks? There's Volksgarten, so chill and beautiful, a perfect spot for those secret heart-to-hearts. I always get a warm fuzz feeling when I park myself on a bench there, thinkin' 'bout love and weird dating stories from my work. Then there's the Wels river—yeah, a bubbling, lazy water stream that cuts through our city, addin' a surreal vibe as if it’s straight outta a Wes Anderson scene, with slow-mo moments and pastel colors everywhere.

Conference of Presidents’ winter 2025 meeting